bear and co.

My husbands parenting words: "The kindness of dad should lead you to not want to do those things..." I love how he speaks to our 9 month old like he understands Romans 2:4. I laugh, but it will be awesome if Bear grows up to love obedience because of God's kindness leading him there away from his wrath. This is what God has done for us in Christ Jesus. I often just want to manage behavior, even with my infant. God's kindness leads me to repentance as my son stuffs his mouth full of a leaf from our neighbors tree.

We have been in Denver for 2 and a half years now, and things are getting real. The first year was a blur of adventure, excitement, newness, pain, and growing frustration. The second year was rebuilding and learning to be honest with ourselves. Over the past few months we have moved into a place of both grieving and rootedness. Grieving the loss of being near family and friends, the ones who know us, celebrate us, and taught us to explore and love life. Things are quite different here in Denver than they were in Tennessee, and as we settle in for the long haul moving past newness and into the painful realities of uprooting our lives there, we are becoming grateful for what God has provided here. We have a true family around us in our gospel community group through church. God has provided a safe home with neighbors to love and serve, and who like us and invest in our life. God has loved us faithfully and encouraged us along the 3 years of starting a ministry. God has kept our son healthy for the most part, and his sweet spirit is a gift to our daily life.

We are settling into a difficult season in ministry, as we continue to pioneer Destino at a campus with a high turn-over rate. We are so thankful for the dear students we meet and have a chance to know and grow with, but certainly days seem to get longer and we are tired. For me (Kayla), balancing work and home life with a son proves to be challenging (every parent now nods and sighs in agreement). To all of you who give to the ministry and continue to encourage us with your prayers and notes, please know how we long to see you and thank you face to face. It's your encouragement to reminds us to hold fast to God's promise and call to love students with Christ's love and share the Gospel that keeps us all hoping.

By popular demand, here are some photos of Bear over the last few months. Month 8 was astounding, he really is becoming a little boy.

Not his favorite place to be, but as long as he has something in his mouth... 7 months

Sassy like his momma. The boy loves to eat.

Starting to move from army crawl to hands and knees! And so it begins... 7.5 months!

Hanging out on the front porch with our sweet friend in Destino!

Eating finger foods and LOVIN IT! 8 months

Morning face, when did sleeping in mean 7 am?

Getting the hang of crawling! Right at 8 months!

His favorite place :: the front porch, home of tiny holes in the concrete filled with dirt! 

Getting really good at climbing! 8 months

Destino Rocky Mountain Getaway

The human knot at Destino RMGA

Santiago's picnic style. Yes, we let him try some...and he loved it.

Dad & Bear in the front lawn, look at that beautiful grass! (9 months tomorrow!) 

Bear at 5.5 months

Wow. I cannot believe how fast babies grow. It's unbelievable! Cai Bear (our nickname for our son) is 5.5 months now. Just look at him at 10 days old compared to a week ago. We are so thankful to God for this gift of him and of raising him. I mean, look at those little chicken legs...not so anymore! He is outgrowing 9 mos clothes everyday now. I look forward to the doctors visit in a few weeks to see how much my arms are lifting.

These days Bear is into everything. He is trying desperately to crawl and can now army scoot forward on his belly. It's comical as he grunts and groans his way through it trying to grab something desirable in front of him (usually a tag on one of his stuffed animals: puma & dino). This past week must have been a developmental boost since he is learning something new everyday. Spitting, new noises, sticking his tongue out, gaining more balance on sitting up, and now the scoot. He is exhausted long before nap and bed times and our window is small these days. 

He is in daycare for half-days each day during the week as we are in classes for CRU. We are nearing the 2 week mark and he is going just fine. The caregivers are great and they love him. No matter how his day is going, he always seems to smile through it and not complain. I'm so proud of who God has made him to be already.

We are finally on a good rhthym, which says a lot for a first year family. We've gotten into grooves before, but I think Bear is finally old enough to be consistent (I say that, and it will change tomorrow...such is life in the first year, huh?!). I remind myself everyday of the blessing that each season brings, and that those hard ones WILL fade into better ones. Bear is sleeping through the night still, and his naps are in a good groove even at daycare. The women have worked tirelessly to get all of their little ones to nap. Impressive. One of his leaders described him perfectly when talking about naps at daycare, "We are learning all of the kid's kryptonite and Bear's: People." Our kid is so social. He just loves people, and acknowledges and smiles at everyone who walks in a room. You'd think he is like me when you hear it, but really he is his daddy. He is attentive and kind, very focused and aware, and socially present. But he also does really well alone and doesn't complain much. You can definitely see me come out in him as he pitches a fit when a toy is taken. Yup, drama. His eyebrows are constantly on the move and he is a flirt through and through. 

He just got over his first bout with a fever and virus. Stuffy nose and cough in the summer time is no fun on a kid but he rode it out like a champ. 

________

This summer is proving a challenge with us a family in all areas. We are wholly exhausted from the past 3 years of constant movement and change. We didn't expect another move (up to Fort Collins for classes + staff conference) to bring a chance for renewal. I, Kayla, am having a hard time dealing with my anxiety and the reality of the past few years coming down hard on me. Austin is taking a full load of classes and trying to stop and hear from God about space, growth, and healing our family needs. God has been faithful and near, but it sure feels hard right now as we are in an honest space. 

Two verses come to mind as I share this, a reminder for all of us of who God is. We have been memorizing these as a family. I challenge you to do the same in yours. 

Psalm 103: 8-14

⁸ The Lord is merciful and gracious,
    slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.
⁹ He will not always chide,
    nor will he keep his anger forever.
¹⁰ He does not deal with us according to our sins,
    nor repay us according to our iniquities.

¹¹ For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
    so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him;
¹² as far as the east is from the west,
    so far does he remove our transgressions from us.
¹³ As a father shows compassion to his children,
    so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear him.
¹⁴ For he knows our frame;
    he remembers that we are dust.

Psalm 18:30-31

³⁰ This God—his way is perfect;
    the word of the Lord proves true;
    he is a shield for all those who take refuge in him.

³¹ For who is God, but the Lord?
    And who is a rock, except our God?—

Walk Close Beside Me

She has no glass around her now. She knows the deep blows of frailty and ease in giving up. Gently, she reveals her heartache, sweeping back her thin hair and with it her fear and timidity. Always the waiting, she has chosen what is good and refused to be calloused. I see in her  the brink of restoration, like green peeking through the ground in Spring. 

She refers to him as lover. No, not this broken man, but this One who beckons her to follow. She sees vineyards ahead, knowing His promise is unchanging. The vows he made to her long ago, were said and done, forever to be kept by His undying love. His eyes are set on hers as he leads her along this dusty valley road. Though she often looks away at passerby's, his strong arm pulls her in once again. Into this forever, in just a little while. 

________________________________

He will allure her, 

He will pursue her, call her out. 

To wilderness, with flowers in his hand.

She is responding, beat up and hurting,

Deserving death. 

Offerings of life are found instead.

She will sing, she will sing, O to You.

She will sing as in the days of youth.

As you lead her away,

to valleys low,

to Acres of Hope. 

Here in the Valley,

walk close beside me.

Don't look back,

for love is growing Vineyards up ahead.

You have called me Master,

I know you're in the dark here.

Call me Friend,

and call me Lover. Marry me for good.

{Acres of Hope, Shane & Shane}