Let's be real. I cannot lounge. It's not simply that "I am not good at it" (implying an acquired skill to be excellent at this past-time), nor do I have an aversion to stillness, but I have always rejected non-productivity.
I do not mean that we are never meant to rest, though. Recently, I have discovered, rather scratched the surface on, the joy and necessity of sabbath- sacred time to delight in our God, holy moments. Sabbath evokes dawdling. A need to 'waste time with God'. This is not lounging. Dawdling is productive, producing growth in my heart and mind- giving rest and feeding my heart. Words that sink in from book, song, nature, mediums of color and art, all through the Spirit. Dawdling in the Holy wraps my heart with good words and life. Producing thanks, stillness, solemnity.
It is in the times that I labor that I produce, and it is in the times that I rest that I allow God to produce in me. I dawdle, He works. Just some thoughts.
This past weekend we had the joy of hosting my best friend, Becca. We much anticipated her visit, the inaugural trip for my best friend to see me in Denver. There is so much pressure leading up to a weekend visit, everyone with their own expectations and desires for packing in as much as possible into a few short days. We did have a blast. We spent good time in my neighborhood, went for a bike ride, shopped, ate swedish meatballs at ikea (you know, the typical Denver visit)...and mostly just enjoyed each others company.
It's difficult, though, being so far away from the one's you love. You never know how you are going to act when you know they will leave again. Separation is always at the end. All this to say, this season of life is a new one- which means both good & hard. I am bewildered most days at how I am supposed to be in this season, let alone do all the things I am responsible for (being a wife, starting a ministry, to name a couple). In the midst of all these things, there is one thing I know.
The photo above is from a concert we went to on Friday night, Page CXVI. They have re-written music to old hymns, inviting us into breathtaking worship. Tifah, singer & pianist, told of us of the season of life in which she re-did the song "Joy"...the night her father died from cancer, so snuck down to her piano to play melancholy keys and begun to sing. The words that spilled from her lips were these, "I've got the joy, joy, joy, joy, down in my heart. Down in my heart." Her story & the melody struck me. Haunted, even.
To be in different seasons of loss, separation, great and small, and to find joy. That is Christ.
I laugh deep in this picture for joy. We have found joy in Christ.
If you would like to check out Page CXVI's music, I would encourage you to.
We miss UT, especially game days. Thanks CBS for streaming the game today against Florida online! In celebration of fall in the south, we made chili, ate orange cookies, and watched the game while screaming against florida. We wear orange proudly here in Denver, though no one seems to care ;)
